The damage of ‘Creepy’


First and foremost, the world we live in is anything but perfect.

Of course when we are growing up, through our eyes we see a “perfect” world filled with endless possibilities and good.

Now in retrospect, those were the eyes of innocence and that is how we should have been seeing the world.

Over time all of us have experienced hardships, stress, trauma and loss. We now see the world through what we could call “seasoned” eyes. 

By now we have seen and been through so much. 

Nothing really surprises any of us anymore, no matter how bad it may still hurt.

It would be fair to say that it is through these experiences that we start to develop some pre-conceived notions of those around us, and we tend to unfairly pass judgement and jump to conclusions. 

Most of us are guilty of it, and we do tend to take our anger out on someone else at times. That someone may remind us of another who may have hurt us in the past even though they have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Let us shift gears just a bit now.

Aging is a wonderful and beautiful thing that we have to take pride in. It is the natural cycle of life that symbolizes perseverance, grace and wisdom. It behooves all of us to not forget this and to treat it (and others) with respect as nature takes its course.

As we age, we feel the humbling reality of how we change as the years move forward. Just like our early teenage years, our appearance begins to transform a bit. Our skin naturally becomes different, men may begin to bald and women may develop their grays. Also, maybe we just don’t have the high energy like we used to.

As beautiful as it is because we are still alive and living, it can be hard at times to come to terms with. We just don’t feel like we once did. For plenty of us, we physically can’t do some of the things that we used to love.

With all of that being said, perhaps it is time to point out something that certainly does not help anyone. More specifically, that something is actually far more damaging to males whom by now have long been feeling the heavy weight of life’s obstacles beating them severely.

Occasionally, this can be a self-inflicted problem when we do not think before we act.

That something can be summarized in one word: creepy. That word gets thrown around an awful lot these days, and can be incredibly damaging to an individual, even if they never meant any harm.

Now, it is always a good thing for us to be mindful of our surroundings, and recognize when something just doesn’t feel right. If our instincts are saying that something is wrong or if we are in danger, we have every right to listen to them and remove ourselves from any uncomfortable situation. Listen to that and keep yourself safe always.

Having said that, adult males have a solid obligation as we age to always carry ourselves with integrity, pride and respect. More specifically respect for ourselves and respect for others, especially to those who may be a bit more vulnerable.

We have to understand and accept the realities that there are just certain things we cannot do, or even say anymore.

Let’s be realistic, a 40 year-old man doesn’t need to be telling the same crude jokes around a bonfire as he did when he was 20. It’s just not right, or even the appropriate thing to do. Sometimes we have to just put away certain things as we have matured, or having outgrown them.

We have to be mindful about everything we do, and everything that comes out of our mouth. As grown men, we do in fact need to be on the ball with how we carry ourselves every single day. 

Sorry guys, but when we go out and have a drink on Friday night these days, we can’t be getting obnoxiously annihilated anymore. When we go out at any point in time, we better be making sure our clothes are clean, are hygiene is top-notch and our “man-manners” are ready.

It’s also probably time to be brutally honest with ourselves and face facts. Chances are, woman genuinely for the most part don’t want to be hit on or hassled when they are out trying to have a good time.

That being said guys, go out and have fun, have a drink, mingle with old friends and maybe make some new ones. While you’re at it, keep your hands to yourself and be aware of where your eyes wander. Also skip the sexist, racist and homophobic jokes. Not too many women are probably going to find them funny anyways.

Carry yourself with respect and as the old saying goes, act like a man. With that, all will be well and you will never leave yourself vulnerable to being called creepy. Living in these small communities as we do, that is the one word gentlemen of all ages that you do not want to be called. So, save yourself the perceptual damage.

One last gear change now.

Ladies, having now acknowledged all of that please be aware of the permanent damage you can do to someone’s reputation just by calling them creepy.

Most of the time, the last thing anyone is trying to do is make someone else feel uncomfortable. Again that is most of the time.

So what makes someone creepy? Is it their clothes? Is it their car? Is it because they’re balding? Missing teeth? Overweight?

Sorry, but nobody is perfect. Men are just as self-conscious about these things as women, and it hurts just as much when someone drags you down for it. The worst thing to be called over things you just can’t control is creepy, especially when it has to do with your age and physical appearance.

As we talked about before we have every single right to advocate for ourselves when it comes to our self-respect, and above all our safety. So yes ladies keep protecting yourselves, and keep drawing that line of self-respect that no one else can cross.

But please be mindful the next time you call someone creepy. There is a big difference between someone with malicious intent, and someone that is just trying to be nice despite a decline in physical appearance or “good looks.”

Men do not want to be called creepy, just like women do not want to be called promiscuous. We can advocate for ourselves, and get our point across discreetly without the namecalling.

None of us, male or female should ever be kicking someone when they’re down.

You don’t know what the whole story is.