Personal growth

Jess Oaks
Posted 3/13/24

Growing up, I felt my parents taught me all of the things.  

Now, I have to leave that statement to “all of the things” as we expect our parents to be the all-knowledgeable …

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Personal growth


Growing up, I felt my parents taught me all of the things. 

Now, I have to leave that statement to “all of the things” as we expect our parents to be the all-knowledgeable source to guide us through life and we hope to gather as much of that knowledge as we can before they leave us.

But here I am wishing I would have learned just a little bit more. 

Sure, I learned how to cook, bake, mow the yard. I learned how to change a tire, how to keep a clean home. But what has taken me years to learn was just a lesson of stubbing my own toe. 

I know I am not alone, so I just wanted to share this lesson with you.

One lesson I wish we all could learn is that it is okay to outgrow things. 

All of our adult lives we have been under the impression growth is not welcomed. Many of us have seen growth as a number on the scale or the size on the tag our jeans but I am speaking about our growth, as people. 

What does that mean? What does it look like?

Well, simply stated, it means it is okay to let go of things which are no longer serving a purpose in our lives. 

Sometimes that is a dead-ended job. Sometimes that growth is best seen on a social level with our friends and sometimes family. 

After watching my teenage daughter struggle with high school relationships, I realized, as a parent, it was perfectly fine to remind her it is okay to outgrow relationships and I think it is an important message for us to rely to our children. 

Our children should learn at a young age, if a relationship is toxic, move on and continue to blossom without that person. But the reason we don’t is pretty simple. 

Maybe they have been friends with that toxic person since grade school or maybe they are just afraid of being alone. Both are reasonable excuses but that is all they are, excuses. 

As humans, we crave mental stimulation. We crave education. We crave growth. 

We wouldn’t keep a broken chair if it no longer served the purpose it was intended for. There would be no real reason to continue to pull that seat up to our tables because, after all, its purpose has been served. Sure, some of us will take that old chair and repair it. Maybe we glued the legs back together and tightened the screws, but we can only repair it so many times before the damage is irreversible, and we just need a new chair.  

Isn’t it strange how we can recognize the broken chair has served its purpose and needs to be replaced but we can’t seem to break the ties that bind in relationships with other people once they no longer have a healthy purpose in our life?

I’m not telling you to just up and quit your job, I am just reminding you that people have a purpose in our lives too, just like that broken down chair. It’s important to plan such a large change in your life. 

I’m not telling you to toss out all the chairs in your house that aren’t perfect or use Gorilla Glue to repair everything that moves, I am just telling you to really examine the purpose of the folks you interact with. 

What purpose do they serve in your life? 

Have they served their purpose? 

Remember, you’re only as good as the company you keep.