I would consider my mother young when she passed away; she was not even halfway into her 50s. After her passing, many of her friends took me under their wing. It has been amazing to continue to be a part of my mom’s life through her friends. Many of them would call or text me just to check in. As time passed, I am now starting to lose her friends. I think there should be a term for this because I know I’m not the only one who has somehow become friends with someone through the shared experience of grieving for the same person.

This past weekend, I remembered that it was one of my late mother’s closest friend’s birthdays. It honestly felt like I had just spoken to her, so I immediately went on Facebook to wish her a happy birthday, only to read a post wishing her a happy birthday in heaven. I couldn’t believe what I was reading, so I had to keep reading to see when she passed away because it felt like I had just spoken to her.

I was deeply saddened to learn that she had been gone for some time, and I just failed to notice. She was one of the few who would occasionally check in on me after my mom died. It’s amazing how busy we allow ourselves to get that sometimes we don’t notice when people stop reaching out to us. I’m pretty sure the majority of us on Facebook or social media have at least one friend who’s no longer with us, and we don’t know. For me, it felt like losing my mom’s friend almost felt like I lost my mom all over again. I lost the funny stories about high school and prom, and listening to the tales best friends share together.

I don’t believe anyone prepares us for that type of grief. It’s different but it’s still grief just the same. I felt like one of the last connections I had to my mom was gone. Don’t get me wrong, I know that my mom and her friend are somewhere up there, drinking wine and carrying on like they used to, and that’s a good feeling. Sometimes it’s just hard to accept when people leave us because we feel like we have so much more to learn. I know I said it once before, but I strongly agree that grief is like glitter, and we really don’t get much of a choice about where it falls or where it goes. And of course, let’s not forget every single time we think we have it all cleaned up– days and weeks and months pass, and we find another speck of glitter–it’s just like grief.