SOUTHEAST WYOMING – The people of Wyoming are known for pulling together to help in a time of crisis or need by neighbors – and even strangers – in our communities. The number of times people have rallied together to raise money for someone who was in a hard spot is innumerable. Right now, there is another group of people who need help, and no amount of money or well-wishes will be able to solve the problem. This group of people needs old-fashioned, kind compassion and a willingness to open their home to help.

That group is often going through some of the hardest things life may ever throw at them, and they need their neighbors in the local community to help them – love them – through that time as they provide a safe, stable and secure home and some emotional support.

The number of people who have signed up to be willing to meet the need for that group of foster kids is far and few between; many of those are aging (some of them have welcomed children in their time of need for decades) and are unable to help as much as in the past. There have also been some foster parents who have moved away from the state or have adopted foster children. Department of Family Services District Eight director Holly Lebsack said it’s great those kids found a caring family, but it lowers the number of options to place new cases in the district.

“There is a need for more foster homes in the local community,” Lebsack said. She explained DFS tries to keep children in the local community if we can, but unfortunately, they often have to send them out of the county – and away from their school, friends, medical care providers and other support structures (including pets,) if there is no foster home available in their hometown.

She also said they make an extra effort to keep siblings together, but with a lack of foster homes that is not always possible. It is also a challenge to find homes willing to take in pre-teen or teenagers, but stable homes are important for those kids especially if they age out of the system. Those children need a support system where they can call and ask questions as they grow up, or even a place to come home to for the holidays. Foster homes can provide that, long-term if the caregivers are willing. 

Currently, there are 1,200 children on average every year who enter the custody of the State of Wyoming. Of that number, approximately 90 are in the Department of Family Service’s District Eight system, which includes Platte, Goshen, Niobrara and Converse counties. There are just 25 foster homes currently in the entire district – and many of those are occupied with current cases, so the need is great. Just to meet the need, at a minimum, there need to be 30 homes available in Converse and Goshen counties, 20 in Platte and at least seven in Niobrara. Currently, there are no certified foster homes in Guernsey, Glendo, or Chugwater, and only one in Lusk.

Recruitment is always at the forefront for the local district to meet not only immediate but long-term needs. However, there are some misconceptions about the foster care system that are important to clear up, Lebsack said.

First, the entire system is for the purpose of keeping children safe. Every individual who is in the care of the DFS system is connected to the courts. Locally, those are through open cases in the eighth judicial district. 

Second, DFS seeks to place the children with a safe family member or “kinship” (a neighbor, teacher, or other person whom they trust and are safe with); and only police officers or a medical doctor, physician’s assistant, or nurse practitioner are authorized in Wyoming to take children into the custody of DFS.

Third, the purpose of the foster care system is to give children a safe place to be while their parent or guardian is obtaining the help they need to provide a safe home through the assistance of social services at DFS, and in coordination with the courts and county attorney. Social services provide the education and resources to help them overcome whatever it is that prompted the state to intervene in the child’s welfare in the first place.

The goal in the state of Wyoming is to make every effort to reunite the children with the parents, and parental rights are still in effect for the children. While children are in the foster care system, parents still have their right to have a say in things like medical decisions, haircuts and religious training. The foster parents have a role in this, and often are an additional source of help or support to the parents after this transition takes place.

Fourth, if the situation arises where the parents are unable to provide a safe home for the child within 12 months, the process of determining an alternate long-term care plan is created to seek the best option for the children involved. By 15 – 22 months in the foster care system, a long-term plan must be implemented, according to the law. In past cases, the long-term plan has occasionally resulted in adoption by the foster parents, but not always.

Fifth, anyone who chooses to go through the process to be a certified foster caregiver will have a say in each case as to whether they want to foster a specific child or not. In an effort to match the child with a foster home that is a good fit, caregivers state their preference for a particular age group or gender. For instance, if a family has their own children, they may only want foster children of the same age, or of the same gender.

Also, a person could choose to simply be a respite foster home, giving a temporary break to full-time foster parents for a few hours or over a weekend.

They can always say “no,” said Nellie Knight, social services supervisor, adding there can be times when a foster home can go weeks, months, or longer without being asked to foster a child. But the more people and variety of foster homes available, the better it is to match the two together in a good fit that works well both ways.

There are successful foster homes in Wyoming made up of a variety of family dynamics: two-parent homes, one-parent homes, single men or women; some homes have their own children, others don’t; some are young, and some are retired and have time on their hands. The foster parent can choose on a case-by-case basis whether or not they will take responsibility for the child (or children if there are siblings) in the initial call from DFS, and the social workers try to match the children to the home and hopefully remain close to the community they are familiar with.

Sixth, life doesn’t have to drastically change for anyone willing to become a foster home. You can still go on vacations or visit family; life can go on as normal but with the addition of another child or children in tow.

Seventh, anyone can be a foster parent, as long they are 21 years old and pass the application process, which includes a background check, training (including first aid and CPR, and Reasonable and Prudent Parent Standards), and a home safety check (of which a quarter focuses on fire safety). The application process typically takes approximately three months, and much of can be completed online and at your own pace within six months from the date of the initial application.

The foster care program pays a stipend for expenses for the children, and in coordination with the case worker, expenses for special needs can be paid for as well. The only thing anyone choosing to be a foster care provider will have to give is care and compassion, time, and room in their home and in their lives to help a child from their own community through a tough time.

“We want [foster parents] to treat these kids as [their] own…the most important thing is to be loving and accepting [as they work through a traumatic time in their life],” Lebsack said.

After foster placement, the caseworker checks in to see if everything is working well, and there is an open line of communication 24/7 to provide help and resources or to answer any questions – even if it seems a small thing. Often, the foster parents also help to mentor the children’s parents and sometimes continue to take on an extended family type of role by watching their former foster child while the parent goes to the store or needs a break. Often, the parent just needed an extra someone that can be trusted to go to for support.

Anyone who chooses to become a certified foster caregiver “will be serving your local community and make a lasting change for the better at the root level,” Lebsack said. “I can’t imagine too many [certified foster homes.] In 25 years, there has never been enough yet.”

Experience Talks

One young couple made the decision to go through the process of becoming foster parents, even though they didn’t have any previous experience with the foster care system.

“My husband and I called to get more information to see if it was the right thing for us. We had no idea what it entailed but called the coordinator for our county and decided to sign up,” Brooklyn Lewis, 22, of Glenrock, said. “My husband and I don’t have our own children, and we had an extra bedroom, so we said ‘yes.’”

“Before becoming a foster parent, I was a stay-at-home dog mom, so there was nothing stopping me. It was a good fit for us to have really young children,” Lewis said, adding though she and her husband have fostered toddlers and a newborn, the experience has not restricted their lifestyle. “We have been lucky; I am home and my schedule is flexible. We welcome visits and phone calls from the [foster children’s] parents, and though we are not a picture-perfect family, we are an open book.”

“We love these kids through and through – and when you love the kids, you love the parents, too,” she explained. “Sometimes we are perceived as the enemy, and we have the children so it may seem that way to some of the parents, but that’s okay. Our job is to provide a safe home while they get the help they need.”

Lewis has experienced a successful reunification with a foster child in her year of being a caregiver, and she is currently working on reunification with the second child. “It’s definitely difficult – the prospect of reunification: we love them so much, and it’s hard to let them go. People say we are falling in love too fast, but these kids need people falling in love with them and being on their side.”

Lewis wants to make people aware of the need and encourage people to become foster caregivers. “I get a lot of people who are apprehensive of fostering. Yes, it can be emotionally damaging – you do see the dark side of what people go through that no one should have to experience, but they need help.

“We felt the same way, but we are Christians, and we pray for the household constantly – for the family and kids as they keep growing. It takes a toll knowing the dark side of a situation and this is a testing time – but for the kids, living through it is the hardest thing they might go through in their entire lives.”

 “The happiest day ever was having a newborn to care for, but it’s the most crucial days and year of their life and it makes a difference,” she added. “It helps emotionally when you realize: this is the worst part of their life. [As their parents get the help and make the changes they need to], they go up from here.”

Lewis emphasized, “Everybody is fighting for these kids: the parents, us – we’re working together to make everybody successful.”

As far as a certain stigma associated with the foster care program, Lewis said there are obviously bad people who make bad choices, “but where that comes into play is rare. Typically – and most of the time – there are good people who may have a limited support system (and have good intentions) but end up making bad choices.”

“It’s my job to love too much. I do need to say goodbye, but when it’s time, I’m 100 percent okay with the person on the other side,” Lewis said, referring to reunification of the children with the parents after they have received the therapy, rehabilitation, parenting classes, or whatever help they need to make it past whatever their struggle is.

In the future, Lewis said she doesn’t see an end to participating in the foster program.

“As long as we have an open room, we will be willing to open our hearts for another child,” Lewis said. 

The full impact of what can happen when someone is willing to open their home and heart (even if it aches) can be summed up by a letter from a child who has experienced the local foster care system, printed exactly as it was written:

To the whole bunch of people that are listening and reading.

I would like to tell you how foster care and DFS has helped me through so much and give me a positive impacted to me.

Foster care helped lower my stress. There is times where I am stress because of school but the foster home has helped me with all of that. When I was at my home In my home it was very stressful because I never knew whether I was in trouble or to eat. Most of the time all we had was tortillas or nothing at all. Most of the time my parents would be gone like my mom at work or my dad getting whine to drink. Sometimes my parents would be gone from afternoon to night time and they would mostly be at the bar, when they were gone I would clean all the time and I never got a break. My social life was never different. I never went out of the house. I mean I did sometimes but never with kids. Now im not so stress. I can finally talk to kids, I have a friend that understands me for me and before I felt like a dog in a dog pound. I had no way of saying no the others witch is still hard for me today. For how weird it sounds I have crushes and friends and people that get me and the proper education I need. I have the best home and everything thanks to DFS. My new foster home is the best suit for me and I feel like my selves. I know that it can be hard for me or other kids to not have there homes but this is what can help me and others as well that what I went through.

(The name of the author will remain anonymous to protect the minor’s identity.)

“Lots of kids go through trauma from abuse or neglect. We want them in a home that will treat them like their own child and help them through difficult times,” Lebsack said.

It’s simple to call and get more information on the local foster care program, and there is no obligation to anyone (plus you won’t go on a call-and-bother-you list). Simply contact your local DFS office; they will provide you with information for any questions you may have. You may find it’s a good fit for you to make a lasting difference in the life of a child in your own community.

For more information on foster care in DFS District Eight, call or email foster care coordinator Genesis Cappeli at 307-358-8245, genesis.cappelli@wyo.gov, or stop by your local DFS office.