Be the friend you want to have

Joyce Meyer
Posted 2/16/24

Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts, words, and attitudes have a tremendous impact on your relationships.

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Be the friend you want to have


Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts, words, and attitudes have a tremendous impact on your relationships.  

A positive attitude will help build your relationships and make you so much more enjoyable to be around. Likewise, someone with a negative attitude is fighting an uphill battle if they hope to make and maintain quality friendships.

Romans 12:2 (AMPC) was a game-changer for me. It says, “Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind....” 

I’m not exaggerating when I say this one scripture changed my life. How? When we fill our minds with God’s Word and learn to think like He thinks, then these positive, faith-filled thoughts flow through our words and attitudes to the people around us. 

I don’t think negative people even realize how their attitude affects their relationships. I sure didn’t. But the truth is, anyone who is happy and positive quickly discovers that being with a negative person doesn’t bring them joy.

I believe it’s important to occasionally ask ourselves, Am I the kind of person other people want to be around? Am I a good friend?

Take a few moments to really think about it. Think about the people in your life. How do you think they would describe you? Would they consider you to be a good friend...someone they like to be around? This exercise isn’t designed to make you feel bad, but it’s meant to help you take an accurate inventory of where you are. 

I’ve reached a place where I really want to be a good friend. If someone runs into me at the coffee shop, I want them to be glad to see me and take a few minutes to talk. I want my attitude to add to their joy!

Most of us are familiar with the law of sowing and reaping. The Bible clearly tells us that we reap what we sow (Luke 10:27-36; Galatians 6:7). If you want more friends, then sow a seed and choose to be a good friend to someone else.

Nothing happens by accident. If we want to be well-liked, we can choose to be likeable. If we want friends, we can choose to be friendly! 

I once heard something that really got my attention. Someone said that even if people don’t remember what you say to them, they do remember how you made them feel. 

For example, I have an exercise coach who is extremely positive. He encourages me throughout the routine, so I always look forward to seeing him. His attitude makes the entire experience! 

However, on the other hand, a few years ago I was going to a trainer who wasn’t very encouraging. He often came across as negative and condescending. I know he thought he was helping me, but he was really discouraging me!

Isaiah 50:4 (AMPC) says, “…The Lord God has given Me the tongue of a disciple and of one who is taught, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary....”

Encouraging people has not always come easy to me, but years ago I made a commitment to God to start doing it on purpose. Every day I ask the Holy Spirit to show me who I can encourage. 

Encouragement is powerful. It can actually make a person feel better. I remember one time when I got a text message from my youngest son. All it said was, “I love you, Mommy!” At that moment, I literally felt refreshed by his words. They gave me the extra dose of courage I needed that day. 

First Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to encourage one another and build each other up. Think about the people and friends you will see and ask God to put something in your heart that you can say to them that will be uplifting.

It can be as simple as saying something positive to someone you work with or letting them know how much you appreciate them. Sometimes I will take a moment to tell someone how much God loves them and wants to bless them. 

Proverbs 18:21 (AMPC) says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue....”

Your words are powerful, and a word of encouragement at the right time can literally transform someone’s entire day. Really, it’s pretty simple: If you want friends, be a good friend. Be the kind of person that other people want to be around. Be positive, encouraging and uplifting.

Maybe you are where I was years ago. If you realize you are negative, the greatest thing you can do is ask the Lord to begin changing you. Begin renewing your mind with God’s Word and allow Him to help you become positive in your thoughts, your words, and your attitude.

As you do, you will become a person others want to hang around. You will become someone they want to call “friend.” 

For more on this topic, order Joyce’s four-part teaching resource Enjoying Successful Relationships. You can also contact us to receive our free magazine, Enjoying Everyday Life, by calling (800) 727-9673 or visiting