Rula explains the manipulation tactic of gaslighting and how it can make a person question their perception of reality.
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Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic that can make people question their perception of reality. Rula shares takeaways, signs and effects, as well as steps to recover from gaslighting.
Experts say that the increased use of the term "gaslighting" has helped spread awareness around the concept of psychological abuse. But at the same time, it's important to know what truly "counts" as gaslighting behavior, since the term is used so often. At its core, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that uses isolation and an imbalance of power. Over time, if it continues, it can become a form of abuse that can take a damaging toll on a person's mental health.
So how can you protect yourself from gaslighting? By exploring the signs and how they show up in relationships, you can learn to spot unhealthy dynamics, set boundaries, and maintain your sense of personal power.
Today, gaslighting is understood as a manipulation tactic that often causes people to question their sense of reality and mental stability. The concept comes from a 1944 film called "Gaslight." In the movie, a husband secretly dims and brightens the lights in the home while convincing his wife that she's imagining it. This causes her to question whether she can trust her own perceptions. And it creates a destabilizing effect that gives her husband even greater control over her.
As the movie shows, gaslighting occurs when a person causes you to question an experience you otherwise know to be true. It's more likely to occur in isolation because it's easier for an abuser to manipulate someone if there's no one nearby to question them or validate the other person's reality. This makes gaslighting common in domestic abuse situations or other scenarios where people become isolated from their support systems.
So why would a person engage in this harmful behavior? Gaslighting isn't always a conscious choice or a planned action. But whether it's intentional or not, it represents a desire to dominate and control someone for personal gain.
Sometimes, gaslighting can be difficult to detect because there's often no physical evidence of the behavior. But by familiarizing yourself with some common signs, you'll know when to ask for help.
You may be experiencing gaslighting if:
Gaslighting can occur in all sorts of environments. It can impact romantic relationships and workplace dynamics. Being exposed to gaslighting once or even a handful of times can be an unsettling experience. But if it continues for longer periods of time, it can negatively impact well-being in many ways.
Gaslighting can lead to:
If you think you've been gaslit, remember that it's not your fault. It can happen to anyone, and you deserve support. If you're feeling confused, anxious, or isolated, know that there are steps you can take to regain your sense of self.
Gather proof
Gaslighting can make you question your reality. So write down what you witnessed or experienced in a journal or in your phone. Be sure to include important details like dates, times, and other specifics. Keep these records safe and secure.
Talk to someone
It might seem scary at first, but talking to someone about your experience can help you feel less isolated and alone. This might be a trusted friend, family member, coworker, or anyone who can validate and affirm your experience.
Create a safety plan
If gaslighting or other forms of abuse are present in your relationship, take steps to keep yourself safe. Include practical concerns like your relocation options. Also include emotional concerns like how to manage conflicting feelings.
Engage in self-care
Gaslighting can tear down your self-esteem, so it's important to practice self-compassion as you recover. Make time for whatever activities help you feel strong, confident, and independent.
Talk to a therapist
Sometimes, gaslighting can lead to ongoing mental health concerns, like anxiety and depression. A therapist can help you heal from psychological trauma, learn healthy coping skills, set boundaries, and reconnect with the truth of your lived experience.
This story was produced by Rula and reviewed and distributed by Stacker Media.